Pondering over that choice...

Mood: Moody / A little low
Topic: Career of MY choice?

I was asking myself ever since I have started this new job.
Is it something that I want? I really want?

I do drag my feet to work intially, now I don't really do so as I am sorta used to the working hours and having to wake up early;I have been thinking of weekends to come badly. I never have this kind of feeling until now. What is it like to be a PA? Though in this place, PA is not entirely PA but more of coordination work with the entire team. Colleagues are bad in temper, and some shirk responsibilities where I can even spot it ssoooo obviously. Sometimes I just cant shut my eyes totally when seeing this kind of stoopid behaviours, it's just so not me to be quiet on this matter at times.

Some of my friends condemn me for giving up my previous job that most of us at this age, looks forward to undergo, yet I just let it slipped past my fingers. Previous job has a turning point during the re-organisation, I was given the role of a Project Manager (though it's mainly on paper work and dealing with some small project, but at least it's something for an amatuer to start with, and there are plans to get a PMP Cert) and I love having the staff sales, it's just great and I have time for myself. I can have coffee at Spinelli or even brew some coffee while sitting at the pantry. Working late there is also quite a worthwhile, since I live nearby too and lead a healthy life by having enough sleep.

In this new place, I can't knock off on dot due to heavy workload, but neither am I willing to stay late. Outside view is good, but I hope the voice in me is as clear as the view outside. I am pondering, contemplating, thinking and wondering.... how long will I be here? How much will I learn? What can I develop from here? What is the prospect? How will the prospective boss see this skillset?

If i want to leave this place, What am I losing? Will I be happier - perhaps and I hope I will be. I am very sure if I leave this place within this period, i can forget about coming back to the banking industry as there will be no more of such opportunities. Probably I have thought the wrong way - About opportunities, because of this reason, I decided to job hopped. I have a thought that perhaps I will not be working in the banking industry in future, as it may not be for me (AT ALL). I find those numbers quite intimitating at times. Perhaps I can be quite sure that I don't want to take a Masters in Banking/Finance, and no more working in a bank after this.

Is it a mere thought cos' I am still not very used to it? Or I really hate this job? Or the environment?

Though i earn more $$ here, I traded that with Time. I seem to be feeling less happier, that's what I find, perhaps at the moment. I don't know really. Probably I need someone/anyone to identify that out for me? As long as I find myself losing myself, or someone reminded that I am not what I used to be, I know this is not for me anymore. That would then make me more decisive...

Sigh...